The Royal Prince Charles Hospital in Aralen had a better than average spinal unit, and that's where Fin had pretty much been since August last year. What I can remember is the feeling of my head wanting to explode and how silent it was under the water. Who knows how long he held me under? A minute, maybe fifteen seconds. I struggled under the weight of his hands, and each time I nearly surfaced he'd shove me under again, his grip firmer. 'I'm gonna kill you.' And by the look on his face I believed him. He dragged me towards him and held onto the back of my hair. I tried to kick him off but his eleven years had an advantage over my nine. 'Dobbers get punished,' he shouted, punching back with such force I didn't dare take a breath or I'd cop a mouthful of water. 'Get off.' I started to punch the water but he kept swimming towards me. Dobber, dobber, dobber.' He was getting closer and had that dark look only Daniel got, where his eyes flashed and looked evil and freakish. I remember that 'cause I copped it from him afterwards for dobbing.'Ī memory that must've been eight years old surfaced with such clearness it was like watching a home video in my head: Daniel swimming towards me, snarling, 'You dobber.' I still remember Pa saying, 'I'll skin that boy alive.'' We panicked and ran into the TAB to tell Pa. He was gone a long time and Kylie and I got really scared. 'One time Daniel got out of the car and went for a walk or something. Sometimes he'd be ages and we'd be boiling.' 'He'd make us wait in the car and we'd be busting to get to the beach. 'I reckon he did some of his biggest bets at the Aralen TAB, where nobody knew him.' 'Dad's favourite, and close to the Aralen TAB,' Brendan added. 'I was thinking about when we used to come and stay in the Christmas holidays and Pa'd take us to the beach.' I must've smiled 'cause Brendan said, 'What are you smirking about?' Pa was slack with the SPF 30, he used to say a bit of sun never hurt anyone. A day mucking around in the ocean – boogie boards, meat pies, ice-blocks, burying each other in the sand – then driving home in the evening, licking the salt from our burnt skin. In another hour or so we'd be able to smell salt in the air.Īs a kid, this had been the smell of excitement, a reprieve from the scorching inland heat and Gran's nagging.

We crossed the Dungog River, the tyres bumping over each ridge. I switched on the radio and fiddled for a station. 'That's the only thing that does,' I scoffed.Īnd I didn't want to say any more about it.

'Look, I don't know if anyone knows that much. How did we end up here? If only things had been different, turning the clock back, all that type of stuff.įinally he spoke. I wasn't a mind-reader but I reckon Brendan was having the same thoughts as me.

Pig Boy by J.C. Burke